AbolishTheDEA.com July 20, 2019

Eight Reasons to End Drug Testing

by Ballard Quass

1) Drugs were made illegal in the United States, not for health reasons, but to punish political enemies - by turning them into felons and thus removing them from the voting rolls

2) Drug tests are not based on any known correlation between the use of any particular drug and an inability to perform any particular job

3) Drug testing seeks to establish Christian Science as a state religion by denying Americans the right to use medications to improve their mental condition

4) Drug tests are an extrajudicial form of law enforcement, which punishes misdemeanor cases of drug use with expulsion from the job market, thereby constituting cruel and unusual punishment

5) Many of the drugs that we test for have been shown to decrease depression, fight PTSD and even cure alcoholism -- and yet we reward those who dare to use them with unemployment?

6) Drug testing allows corporations to hire only docile employees who aren't too finicky about their perceived "rights" as human beings and as workers

7) Drug testing is just another way for the billionaire 1% to lord it over the rest of us by forcing us to undergo humiliating and invasive searches while our CEOs freely use LSD and marijuana with rock stars on their multi-million-dollar yachts

8) Drug testing is based on the patently false assumptions of the Drug War, which has turned the U.S. into a penal colony and fomented violence and bloodshed overseas, justifying U.S. intervention to attack the bad guys that our own drug laws have created out of whole cloth

Did I say 8? I meant 9: The use of Mother Nature's plants is the birthright of every Earthling. It is a right guaranteed by natural law, for as John Locke asserts, we human beings have a natural right to "the earth and all that lies therein." Natural laws cannot justifiably be infringed by common law in a free country -- least of all the United States, the first country in the world to be explicitly founded on the notion of a natural law that trumps common law in order to keep despotism at bay.

Don't think that access to plants is guaranteed by natural law? God even granted that access in Genesis, where he claimed that everything he created in nature was for us -- not for our government. If access to plants is not guaranteed under natural law then natural law is meaningless and human beings have only those rights that their governmental overlords deem fit to grant them. Yet confused preachers rant against Mother Nature's plant medicines from the pulpit, meanwhile remaining hypocritically quiet about the death toll racked up by alcohol and cigarettes -- or the death toll racked up by America's war on plants, whose despotic goals the politicians attempt to disguise by calling it a "war on drugs" instead.

FOR PHILOSOPHERS: Note that the urine tests presuppose the unproven proposition that having a given substance in your system makes you incapable of performing a specific job, that, for instance, you are unable to greet customers at Walmart because you smoked a joint three days ago. This, of course, is mere folly, an obvious lie. The truth is probably the opposite, that in many cases the toker might prove a most affable host. But since this drug-testing justification fails so obviously, what is the true purpose of employee drug-testing? Answer: to enforce unpopular laws through extrajudicial means, to turn a non-crime or misdemeanor into a death sentence that bars one from gaining active employment in America. Thus drug testing not only is extrajudicial punishment, but it comes with penalties far beyond anything that a court would ever impose, even for a suspected murderer: namely, eviction from the job market, where the Christian Science deprecation of natural substances is taken as scripture, as American Sharia, often enforced by liquor-swilling CEOs.

You've got to love drug war morality: you can prove you're a good person merely by pissing. And your reward? Well, you may not do much with your life, but at least you can have a headstone that reads: "Passed every single drug test he ever took!" Well done, good and faithful! And if you want to be even MORE moral, you can always turn in your parents for smoking marijuana, maybe even get a photo opportunity with the appropriately titled Drug Czar. Ah! Isn't democracy swell?!

Be sure to piss on demand for all employers and government personnel. Drug testing: it's the new 'free.' Better yet, read more essays on this outrage:

Next essay: There's nothing complicated about it -- legalize Mother Nature's plants now!

Previous essay: This is your brain on Neuralink

Twitter Icon -- click for Twitter Feed of AbolishTheDEA.com

All Essays

Abolish the DEA image featuring machine-gun-bearing DEA officers enforcing drug law sharia, cracking down on Americans for using Mother Nature's freely offered bounty