AbolishTheDEA.com November 7, 2019

Running with the torture loving DEA

by Ballard Quass



Welcome back to the DEA Lounge!




I want to thank our public servants here for taking time out to join us. I know you've got a busy schedule, locking up liberals, so any time you can spare--





What did I say?



Hey, listen, I understand. By locking up liberals, you keep the Drug Warrior conservatives in power and thus maintain your crucial jobs of quashing dissent in America and limiting human consciousness.



No, seriously. I suppose the Drug War was bound to happen eventually on planet earth.


GASP

It had to happen at the precise moment in human history when capitalism and modern transportation coincided with a new awareness of the psychoactive power of plants.

MURMURS

 new record



We could either greet this alignment of forces rationally or not, and guess which choice we made?

LAUGHTER

Suddenly, Chicken Little politicians were screaming: "Oh, me gosh, we have to outlaw plants!"



Wrong.


Fishkill & Egbert review the patriotic movie classic from 2019 entitled Running with the Devil, in which Natalie Reyes combats Christian Science heretics with the good old-fashioned all-American expedients of torture and assassination.




Earth to politicians: you should have outlawed the profit motive when it comes to those psychoactive plants, not the plants themselves.

APPLAUSE

I guess they had to scapegoat plants, though, since the alternative was to question the all-powerful god of capitalism.

LAUGHTER

The result? They thereby created such a violent world that we had to invent a whole new movie genre to accommodate all the bullets and bodies: namely, the Drug War movie.


LAUGHTER


I hate to call such politicians morons, but if the dunce cap fits...

DRUM

LAUGHTER

"Gee, what happened? We outlawed plants and a bunch of violence ensued. Who would have thunk it?"

LAUGHTER

Answer: anyone with half a brain.

DRUM
LAUGHTER

Don't you love those Drug War movies? Those movies where the DEA "heroes" laugh at the US Constitution and willfully employ torture and murder to achieve their goal of outlawing Mother Nature? Ah, yes, good old American values: torture and murder.

GASP

Check out Running with the Devil, a DEA propaganda film starring Laurence Fishburne and Nicolas Cage.

GASP

Along with Natalie Reyes as the torture-loving DEA agent.

GASP

You know, if the Drug War is Christian, as many fundamentalists maintain, then I must have missed something in Sunday School.

LAUGHTER

I missed the part where Jesus told his followers to place suspects in bikini briefs, suspend them by a metal chain, and then threaten to drill holes in their abdomen with a power tool, as Natalie Reyes threatens to do to the so-called "Snitch" in Running with the Devil.

GASP

Oops, I forgot to mention: SPOILER ALERT!

DRUM
LAUGHTER

Speaking of spoilers, you ever notice that the Drug War spoils democracy!

APPLAUSE

I just looked up the movie, Running with the Devil, on so-called Common Sense Media.

MURMURS

Common Sense? More like Common Nonsense.

LAUGHTER

They pan the movie for its nudity and four-letter words...

MURMURS

...but they have absolutely NOTHING to say about the movie's glorification of governmental fascism.

LAUGHTER

Common Sense Media is like: Watch out, parents. There are some very naughty words, indeed, in this movie! Land's sakes! Aside from that, though, it's just a good-natured romp extolling the wonders of fascism! So enjoy!

LAUGHTER

My name is Ballard Quass and I'll be here until they outlaw freedom of speech, which won't be long considering that our government has already had the metaphysical chutzpah to outlaw mere plants!








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Abolish the DEA image featuring machine-gun-bearing DEA officers enforcing drug law sharia, cracking down on Americans for using Mother Nature's freely offered bounty

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