bird icon for twitter

Hey, You, Get Off Of My Creed!

how the drug war bans my religion

by Ballard Quass, the Drug War Philosopher

January 6, 2022

"Any question of philosophy which is so obscure and uncertain that human reason can reach no fixed determination with regard to it; if it should be treated at all, seems to lead us naturally into the style of dialogue and conversation." - Dialogues Concerning Natural Religions. David Hume.

Okay. Take a load off.

Oh, thank you, old boy. I just got back from the "just say no" rally, don't you know. It was a jolly good show, what?

Oh, really? And you have no problem just saying no to medicines that have inspired entire religions?

What do you mean, sir?

The Vedic-Hindu religion was inspired by soma. Coca inspired the Inca religion. Psychedelics gave Plato his view of the afterlife.

Oh, that. I thought you were talking about board certified religions, old boy, like Christianity.

No, he's got a point there. In light of the facts thus enumerated, one might say that the Drug War outlaws the very impulse of religion.


Well, that's rather ripe coming from you, Michael, my dear boy.

How do you mean?

Didn't you just write a book in which you claimed that it was too dangerous to legalize the use of mushrooms and other psychedelics, what what?

He's got you there, Michael.

It seems that some things are more important to you than religious liberty, old man.

So I want to protect junior from misusing drugs. So sue me.

And you want to do that at the expense of denying me my religion?


Nay, worse: you've denied me the religious impulse that such substances create, thereby preventing me from even conceptualizing new religions, let alone joining them.

That's just like you, Brian: you're always interested in abstract principles, while I'm worried about real lives.

Yes. Real WHITE lives in the American suburbs.

He's got you again, Michael, old man.

How about the 'real lives' of the thousands of Mexican kids who have lost their parents to the war on drugs that America exported to the world beginning in the early 20th century?

How about the thousands of black Americans who are killed every year by the heavily armed gang violence that prohibition has caused in inner cities?

Besides, if you're worried about the negative effects of drugs, why aren't you fretting about the psychoactive drug called sugar, which has resulted in hundreds of thousands of diabetes deaths in Mexico over the last decade, thanks to that country's massive imports of Coca-Cola and American processed foods?

Looks like he's clammed up on you, old boy.

Well, that always happens to me: whenever I spout an incontrovertible truth, my critics always clam up on me, and henceforth cut me entirely, I might add.

Not to worry, Brian, old boy, for I'm here, and I can grill Michael on your behalf, even if he stiffs you, dialectically speaking, that is.

But I thought you were in favor of the Drug War.

I am, old boy. But I have good religious reasons for just saying no.

Oh, really?

Yes, really. What's more, I want to save junior from more than just psychedelics. I want to save him from the scourge of excessive marijuana use as well.

Oh, here we go.

Yes, here we go old man: See what your legalization talk has led to? Toke City, baby! (er, I mean, 'old man').

Yes, and do you know why it's Toke City, today, baby?

No. Enlighten me, dear boy.

Because you Drug Warriors have outlawed almost every other psychoactive substance on the frickin' planet!

Now Brian's got YOU, old boy.

And you've thereby outlawed my religion, which holds that the unexamined life is not worth living.

Oh, I see old man. So you have to be 'stoned,' I suppose, in order to examine life?


Steady, old boy.

"Stoned" is your prejudiced and derisive terminology. I have to be inspired by medicines to reach states that help me see outside my own limited understanding of the world in which I dwell, both psychologically and physically speaking.

Far better to just say no, old boy.


Well, because... because... um...

Why is a state of sobriety the ultimate goal in your life? Gunmen shoot up schools when they're sober; they commit suicide when they're sober; they launch nuclear weapons when they're sober.

Well, I never!

You should try it some time, 'old boy.'

Do you know what?

Pray continue.

I wish there were some undiscovered country that I could set sail for in emulation of my Mayflower ancestors, so that I could found a country based on the idea that psychoactive medicine should be used for the benefit of humanity without being stigmatized either by politicians or the sensation-seeking tabloid press.

Now now.

What's more, I would be setting sail for the same reason my ancestors did: to found a country wherein they could exercise religious freedom and freedom of conscience.

I'm with you... kind of.

I'm sorry Michael, but "kind of" doesn't cut it. In fact, with friends like you, we opponents of the Drug War don't need enemies.

Hey, in case you hadn't noticed, I represent the consensus view on these topics!

That's true, unfortunately, and the consensus view is very confused indeed.


The average American senses that the Drug War is full of crap, but they can never really grasp the full evil at work here because they have been programmed from birth to hate and fear psychoactive medicines rather than to understand them.

How so?

The propaganda of omission has kept them from learning about the positive uses of mind medicine because TV, films and academia only ever talk about misuse and abuse, never about positive use, whether theoretical or historical.


This keeps us from grasping an obvious truth: that the Drug War is wrong through and through. Why? Because it tells us there are substances that have no positive uses for anyone, ever, at any time, in any place, for any reason, at any dose.

Well, yes, but--

And guess what?



There are no substances of that kind. Moreover, to insist otherwise, is anti-scientific because it keeps us from finding the very uses that could disprove the theory.


In other words, the Drug War is just a superstition.


A superstition that keeps me from practicing my religion and following the Platonic imperative of knowing myself and the world around me.

Well, all I can say is that I'll pray for you, old man, in the name of the drug free Father, and the drug Free Son, and the drug free Holy Spirit. Amen.

And I'll write some more books, explaining why we have to continue going slow on approving the use of dangerous botanicals like mushrooms. I think I'll call my new book, "How to Change Your Mind with Shock Therapy: why it's better to fry your brain with electricity than to partake of evil plants and fungus."

Gee, that's swell, fellas. NOT! As for me, I'll keep writing articles on the Internet in an attempt to waken America to the obvious: that the Drug War is wrong root and branch...

Yes, yes...

Yes, and that it is a violation of my religious liberty.

Oh, this passes!

And you, with your quaint 19th-century British tropes: don't you realize that the Drug War is the enforcement of the drug-hating religion of Christian Science with respect to psychoactive medicine?

May God forgive you for saying so, old boy.

Oh, Brian, can I get the spelling of your complete name, please?

Oh, yes, Michael, I'd be flattered.

Don't be. I just want to search the text of my latest manuscript to make sure that I did not inadvertently mention your name therein!

Next essay: Drug War Bait and Switch
Previous essay: The Handicapped NEED Crutches

More Essays Here

Some Tweets against the hateful war on drugs

It's always wrong to demonize drugs in the abstract. That's anti-scientific. It begs so many questions and leaves suffering pain patients (and others) high and dry. No substance is bad in and of itself.
The FDA says that MindMed's LSD drug works. But this is the agency that has not been able to decide for decades now if coca "works," or if laughing gas "works." It's not just science going on at the FDA, it's materialist presuppositions about what constitutes evidence.
Just think how much money bar owners in the Old West would have saved on restoration expenses if they had served MDMA instead of whiskey.
I personally hate beets and I could make a health argument against their legality. Beets can kill for those allergic to them. Sure, it's a rare condition, but since when has that stopped a prohibitionist from screaming bloody murder?
Getting off antidepressants can make things worse for only one reason: because we have outlawed all the drugs that could help with the transition. Right now, getting off any drug basically means become a drug-free Christian Scientist. No wonder withdrawal is hard.
I never said that getting off SSRIs should be done without supervision. If you're on Twitter for medical advice, you're in the wrong place.
"I can take this drug that inspires me and makes me compassionate and teaches me to love nature in its byzantine complexity, or I can take Prozac which makes me unable to cry at my parents' funeral. Hmm. Which shall it be?" Only a mad person in a mad world would choose SSRIs.
Prohibition is a crime against humanity. It forces us to use shock therapy on the severely depressed since we've outlawed all viable alternatives. It denies medicines that could combat Alzheimer's and/or render it psychologically bearable.
Drug warriors have harnessed the perfect storm. Prohibition caters to the interests of law enforcement, psychotherapy, Big Pharma, demagogues, puritans, and materialist scientists, who believe that consciousness is no big "whoop" and that spiritual states are just flukes.
The DEA should be tried for crimes against humanity. They have been lying about drugs for 50 years and running interference between human beings and Mother Nature in violation of natural law, depriving us of countless potential and known godsends in order to create more DEA jobs.
More Tweets

essays about

Dragnet meets the Drug War
The Joy of Drug Testing
Drug War Copaganda
One of these things is not like the other
Comedian Adderall Zoloft Riffs on the Drug War
Plants Divine, All Plants Excelling
Testing Employee Urine for Fun and Profit
Rat Out Your Neighbors
The Church of the Most Holy and Righteous Drug War
A Drug Warrior in our Midst
Public Service Announcements for the Post-Drug War Era
Se Llama Mushrooms
American City Homicide Awards 2021
Drug Warriors Anonymous
Partnership for a Death Free America
A Misguided Tour of Monticello
Drug War Jeopardy!
Calling Doctor Scumbag
COPS PRESENTS the top 10 traffic stops of 2023
A Dope Comedy Routine About Drugs

essays about

My Conversation with Michael Pollan
Michael Pollan and the Drug War
The Michael Pollan Fallacy
The Problem with Michael Pollan

essays about

How the Drug War Banned my Religion
Modern Addiction Treatment as Puritan Indoctrination
What Terence McKenna Got Wrong About Drugs
Using Ecstasy in Church
Drug War Ideology:
the modern superstition

So, Your Faith Votes?
How the Drug War is the Establishment of Christian Science as the State Religion
Addicted to Christianity
Drug War U.
Majoring in Drug War Philosophy
The Drug War as a Litmus Test for Philosophical Wisdom

front cover of Drug War Comic Book

Buy the Drug War Comic Book by the Drug War Philosopher Brian Quass, featuring 150 hilarious op-ed pics about America's disgraceful war on Americans

You have been reading an article entitled, Hey, You, Get Off Of My Creed!: how the drug war bans my religion, published on January 6, 2022 on For more information about America's disgraceful drug war, which is anti-patient, anti-minority, anti-scientific, anti-mother nature, imperialistic, the establishment of the Christian Science religion, a violation of the natural law upon which America was founded, and a childish and counterproductive way of looking at the world, one which causes all of the problems that it purports to solve, and then some, visit the drug war philosopher, at (philosopher's bio; go to top of this page)