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Fried Brains Over Easy: another Drug War Comedy Routine

live from the DEA Lounge

by Brian Ballard Quass, the Drug War Philosopher

April 9, 2025



Click the audio link above to listen to the latest comedy routine 1 live from the DEA Lounge, featuring Adderall Zoloft and Paxil Buspar!


ADDERALL: Welcome to the DEA Lounge. My name is Adderall Zoloft.

PAXIL: And I'm Paxil Buspar.

ADDERALL: And we are here tonight to encourage you to just say no to godsend medicines.

PAXIL: That's right, Adderall.

ADDERALL: Say, Paxil, I hear that a majority of psychiatrists would like to receive electroshock therapy if they ever became severely depressed.

PAXIL: You're kidding me. You mean that they would rather have their brains damaged than to use the kinds of medicines that have inspired entire religions?

ADDERALL: Apparently so, Paxil.

PAXIL: That is hard to believe after you've read quotes about ecstatic drug use in books like "Pihkal" by Alexander Shulgin.

ADDERALL: What quotes, Paxil?

PAXIL: Quotes like these, Adderall.


"Excellent feelings. Tremendous opening of insights and understanding. A real awakening."

"This feels marvelous, and a whole new way to be much more relaxed, accepting, being in the moment. No more axes to grind. I can be free."

"I felt an enriched emotional affect, a comfortable and good feeling, and easy sleeping, with colorful and important dreams."


ADDERALL: Yeah. And now let's listen to a quote from someone who has just had electroshock therapy.

"Er... um... I feel... eeee.... shh... I'm sorry, what was the question again?




ADDERALL: That's all for now. I'm Adderall Zoloft.

PAXIL: And I'm Paxil Buspar.

ADDERALL: And we'll be here till Thursday -- or until the DEA figures out that we hate its guts, whichever comes first.

ANNOUNCER: This has been a presentation of the Drug War Philosopher @ abolishthedea.com, who reminds you that the Hindu religion was inspired by the use of a drug that inspired and elated, from which it follows that drug prohibition is the outlawing of religion. This is Goodman Johnny speaking. Stay tuned for more comic sendups of America's illogical, racist and superstitious Drug War, right here on abolishthedea.com.



Author's Follow-up:

April 25, 2025

picture of clock metaphorically suggesting a follow-up




Alfred North Whitehead wrote the following observation in "The Concept of Nature":

"The substantial reason for rejecting a philosophical theory is the 'absurdum' to which it reduces us."


Clearly, we need to reject materialism 2 -- at least in terms of its pretentions in the field of psychology. That ideology has led to the most absurd result imaginable: namely, the utter blindness of materialists to common sense -- to the extent that they would sacrifice their own gray matter on the altar of their faith in reductionist science.

Of course, we can ascribe at least some of the absurdity to the Drug War propaganda of censorship, which has censored all talk of positive drug use from our lives. But I never realized how successful that propaganda has been before I started encountering this conviction on the part of psychiatrists that brain damage was better than drug use.

Shock therapy is simply our modern version of blood letting. It is performed based on dogmatic assumptions and has nothing to do with common sense or even sanity.

Have these masochist psychiatrists never heard of Alexander Shulgin, or of the Hindu religion for that matter, or of the "quarterly carouses" of opium 3 using poets in the 19th century? Do they really think that the best way to treat depression is to decrease mental capacity? Do they really truly see no therapeutic power in elation and ecstasy and self-transcendence and rapture? Please tell me that these fans of brain damage are joking.

Well, I suppose Mary Baker Eddy would be proud of those of us who choose brain damage over the use of substances that are part of the politically demonized category called "drugs."






Author's Follow-up:

October 20, 2025

picture of clock metaphorically suggesting a follow-up




Shock therapy? How about trying cocaine first? Sigmund Freud considered it to be a cure for depression. The drug was demonized by doctors who saw their jobs disappearing should this panacea be available for the depressed. And so they judged the drug by focusing only on the vast MINORITY of people who misused it -- folks who were never educated about SAFE use in the first place. This is precisely as if they were to judge liquor by considering drunkards only. That's the REAL story about cocaine 4 5 : self-interested doctors threw the depressed under the bus. Their Hippocratic Oath was: first, make a buck.

That doctors today would prefer shock therapy shows that they have been duped by their own propaganda. Moliere parodied this gullibility 400 years ago in 'The Imaginary Invalid':

ARGAN: But doctors themselves must believe in the truth in their science since they use it on themselves.

BROTHER: That's because there are some in their number who suffer from the same delusion by which they profit.

--The Imaginary Invalid by Moliere, produced by Yuri Rasovsky










Notes:

1: COPS PRESENTS the top 10 traffic stops of 2023 DWP (up)
2: How materialists lend a veneer of science to the lies of the drug warriors DWP (up)
3: The Truth About Opium by William H. Brereton DWP (up)
4: Sigmund Freud's real breakthrough was not psychoanalysis DWP (up)
5: “Freud on Cocaine : Freud, Sigmund, 1856-1939 : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive.” 2023. Internet Archive. 2023. https://archive.org/details/freudoncocaine0000freu/page/n5/mode/2up?view=theater. (up)




read more essays here





Ten Tweets

against the hateful war on US




If I should die of some unusual concatenation of circumstances, I want my survivors to pass "Brian's Law," a law stating that we will no longer pass laws based on hard cases and so needlessly fill our prisons by taking common-sense discretion out of the hands of judges.

It's no wonder that folks blame drugs. Carl Hart is the first American scientist to openly say in a published book that even the so-called "hard" drugs can be used wisely. That's info that the drug warriors have always tried to keep from us.

"Like Christians burning mosques and temples to spread the word of Jesus, modem drugabuseologists burn crops to spread the use of alcohol." -- Ceremonial Chemistry, p. 48

If drug war logic made sense, we would outlaw endless things in addition to drugs. Because the drug war says that it's all worth it if we can save just one life -- which is generally the life of a white suburban young person, btw.

When scientists refuse to report positive uses for drugs, they are not motivated by power lust, they are motivated by philosophical (non-empirical) notions about what counts as "the good life." This is why it's wrong to say that the drug war is JUST about power.

In "The Book of the Damned," Charles Fort shows how science damns (i.e. excludes) facts that it cannot assimilate into a system of knowledge. Fort could never have guessed, however, how thoroughly science would eventually "damn" all positive facts about "drugs."

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies." -- Groucho Marx

It's always wrong to demonize drugs in the abstract. That's anti-scientific. It begs so many questions and leaves suffering pain patients (and others) high and dry. No substance is bad in and of itself.

If opium were legal, then most of the nostrums peddled by drug stores today would be irrelevant. (No wonder the drug war has staying power!)

SWAT raids have increased by 15,000 percent from the late 1970s to today, resulting in 50,000 to 80,000 SWAT raids annually in the US alone. --War On Us


Click here to see All Tweets against the hateful War on Us






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Unless otherwise indicated, no AI is used in the creation of site content. These essays represent the original ideas of their author and not the ideas that the author SHOULD have based on an algorithmic parsing of existing data. For more on this subject, consider the AI-related viewpoints to which the author subscribes as delineated in the New York Times opinion piece entitled "What 370,000 College Essays Tell Us About A.I.’s Effects on Creativity" by Rebecca Winthrop of the Brookings Institution.

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Copyright 2026, Brian Ballard Quass Contact: quass@quass.com

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