Fried Brains Over Easy: another Drug War Comedy Routine
live from the DEA Lounge
by Ballard Quass, the Drug War Philosopher
April 9, 2025
Click the audio link above to listen to the latest comedy routine live from the DEA Lounge, featuring Adderall Zoloft and Paxil Buspar!
ADDERALL: Welcome to the DEA Lounge. My name is Adderall Zoloft.
PAXIL: And I'm Paxil Buspar.
ADDERALL: And we are here tonight to encourage you to just say no to godsend medicines.
PAXIL: That's right, Adderall.
ADDERALL: Say, Paxil, I hear that a majority of psychiatrists would like to receive electroshock therapy if they ever became severely depressed.
PAXIL: You're kidding me. You mean that they would rather have their brains damaged than to use the kinds of medicines that have inspired entire religions?
ADDERALL: Apparently so, Paxil.
PAXIL: That is hard to believe after you've read quotes about ecstatic drug use in books like "Pihkal" by Alexander Shulgin.
ADDERALL: What quotes, Paxil?
PAXIL: Quotes like these, Adderall.
"Excellent feelings. Tremendous opening of insights and understanding. A real awakening."
"This feels marvelous, and a whole new way to be much more relaxed, accepting, being in the moment. No more axes to grind. I can be free."
"I felt an enriched emotional affect, a comfortable and good feeling, and easy sleeping, with colorful and important dreams."
ADDERALL: Yeah. And now let's listen to a quote from someone who has just had electroshock therapy.
"Er... um... I feel... eeee.... shh... I'm sorry, what was the question again?
ADDERALL: That's all for now. I'm Adderall Zoloft.
PAXIL: And I'm Paxil Buspar.
ADDERALL: And we'll be here till Thursday -- or until the DEA figures out that we hate its guts, whichever comes first.
ANNOUNCER: This has been a presentation of the Drug War Philosopher @ abolishthedea.com, who reminds you that the Hindu religion was inspired by the use of a drug that inspired and elated, from which it follows that drug prohibition is the outlawing of religion. This is Goodman Johnny speaking. Stay tuned for more comic sendups of America's illogical, racist and superstitious Drug War, right here on abolishthedea.com.
Author's Follow-up:
April 25, 2025
Alfred North Whitehead wrote the following observation in "The Concept of Nature":
"The substantial reason for rejecting a philosophical theory is the 'absurdum' to which it reduces us."
Clearly, we need to reject materialism -- at least in terms of its pretentions in the field of psychology. That ideology has led to the most absurd result imaginable: namely, the utter blindness of materialists to common sense -- to the extent that they would sacrifice their own gray matter on the altar of their faith in reductionist science.
Of course, we can ascribe at least some of the absurdity to the Drug War propaganda of censorship, which has censored all talk of positive drug use from our lives. But I never realized how successful that propaganda has been before I started encountering this conviction on the part of psychiatrists that brain damage was better than drug use.
Shock therapy is simply our modern version of blood letting. It is performed based on dogmatic assumptions and has nothing to do with common sense or even sanity.
Have these masochist psychiatrists never heard of Alexander Shulgin, or of the Hindu religion for that matter, or of the "quarterly carouses" of opium using poets in the 19th century? Do they really think that the best way to treat depression is to decrease mental capacity? Do they really truly see no therapeutic power in elation and ecstasy and self-transcendence and rapture? Please tell me that these fans of brain damage are joking.
Well, I suppose Mary Baker Eddy would be proud of those of us who choose brain damage over the use of substances that are part of the politically demonized category called "drugs."
Health is not a quality, it's a balance. To decide drug legality based on 'health' grounds thus opens a Pandora's box of different points of view.
That's why I created the satirical Partnership for a Death Free America. It demonstrates clearly that drug warriors aren't worried about our health, otherwise they'd outlaw shopping carts, etc. The question then becomes: what are they REALLY afraid of? Answer: Free thinkers.
The first step in harm reduction is to re-legalize mother nature's medicines. Then hundreds of millions of people will no longer suffer in silence for want of godsend medicines... for depression, for pain, for anxiety, for religious doubts... you name it.
Now drug warriors have nitrous oxide in their sights, the substance that inspired the philosophy of William James. They're using the same tired MO: focusing exclusively on potential downsides and never mentioning the benefits of use, and/or denying that any exist.
The Petpedia website says that "German Shepherds need to have challenging jobs such as searching for drugs." How about searching for prohibitionists instead?
Don't the Oregon prohibitionists realize that all the thousands of deaths from opiates is so much blood on their hands?
Drug warriors have taught us that honest about drugs encourages drug use. Nonsense! That's just their way of suppressing free speech about drugs. Americans are not babies, they can handle the truth -- or if they cannot, they need education, not prohibition.
NOW is the time for entheogens -- not (as Strassman and Pollan seem to think) at some future date when materialists have finally wrapped their minds around the potential usefulness of drugs that experientially teach compassion.
It's funny to hear fans of sacred plants indignantly insisting that their meds are not "drugs." They're right in a way, but actually NO substances are "drugs." Calling substances "drugs" is like referring to striking workers as "scabs." It's biased terminology.
Saying "Fentanyl kills" is exactly like saying "Fire bad!"
Buy the Drug War Comic Book by the Drug War Philosopher Brian Quass, featuring 150 hilarious op-ed pics about America's disgraceful war on Americans
You have been reading an article entitled, Fried Brains Over Easy: another Drug War Comedy Routine: live from the DEA Lounge, published on April 9, 2025 on AbolishTheDEA.com. For more information about America's disgraceful drug war, which is anti-patient, anti-minority, anti-scientific, anti-mother nature, imperialistic, the establishment of the Christian Science religion, a violation of the natural law upon which America was founded, and a childish and counterproductive way of looking at the world, one which causes all of the problems that it purports to solve, and then some, visit the drug war philosopher, at abolishTheDEA.com. (philosopher's bio; go to top of this page)
You have been reading an article entitled, Fried Brains Over Easy: another Drug War Comedy Routine: live from the DEA Lounge, published on April 9, 2025 on AbolishTheDEA.com. For more information about America's disgraceful drug war, which is anti-patient, anti-minority, anti-scientific, anti-mother nature, imperialistic, the establishment of the Christian Science religion, a violation of the natural law upon which America was founded, and a childish and counterproductive way of looking at the world, one which causes all of the problems that it purports to solve, and then some, visit the drug war philosopher, at abolishTheDEA.com. (philosopher's bio; go to top of this page)
