and all the other undereducated chest-thumpers in the world who run roughshod over the rights of freedom lovers far and wide
by Brian Ballard Quass, the Drug War Philosopher
March 21, 2026
Last night I saw the head of our newly named Department of War on television, Pete Hegseth, telling me to get down on my knees and pray to Jesus Christ. That's right, the head of my country's military was directing me to make my obeisances to Jesus Christ right there and then -- to Jesus Christ! Well, I did what any freedom-loving American would do in such a case: I ran to my front door to look outside and see if I was still in the United States. The country that I grew up in, after all, was not a theocracy, least of all a theocracy ruled by warmongering evangelicals who scorn all democratic norms. Surely, my condo had been transported overnight via an F-5 tornado to some despotic dystopia on the other side of the globe. I must have somehow slept through the whole thing!
Strange, I had flipped the television on to get an update on the phenomenally poorly planned war on Iran, and instead I got a sermon.
Fortunately, two can play at that game, in proof of which, let us now bow our heads in prayer.
Dear God, we come before you today sick unto death with the Drug Warriors' attempts to destroy time-honored freedoms in the name of ending the use of godsend medicines which they are determined to demonize while yet glorifying not simply the drinking of alcohol, but the actual abuse of the same -- in proof of which, Lord, I call your attention to the shelves full of so-called "hydration games" at the local Walmart, including but not limited to Chug o' War, Shot Clock, and You Laugh, You Drink. It would be funny, Lord, were it not for the fact that this childish hypocrisy of ours about psychoactive substances has an ever-growing body count around the world.
Speaking of which, we pray for the families of the hundreds of thousands of Mexicans who have been killed by Drug War violence in the last 20 years alone and of the tens of thousands who have been "disappeared," as they call it, Lord, all so that America can outlaw the divine plant of the Incas. Speak to the hearts of American parents whose fearmongering about their children has helped bring us to this sorry pass. Remind them that they are not the only stakeholders in the drug debate, and that they can only save their children from drugs by throwing the rest of the world under the bus, and especially minorities and foreigners.
Remind them that folks like myself have been shunted off onto so-called 'meds' that are far harder to kick than heroin, all because drug prohibition has given a monopoly on mind and mood medicine to pharmaceutical companies. Remind them, while you're at it, Lord, that it is humiliating to take drug tests and that it is just plain wrong to judge people by what substances they decide to ingest, not to mention the fact that it's just plain anti-American, anti-freedom, and a violation of the natural law upon which America was founded, insofar as John Locke himself, Jefferson's go-to man on natural rights, declared that we all have a natural right to the use of the earth and all that lies therein, which includes the poppy plant, the coca plant, mushrooms, cacti and even synthetic medicines that are inspired by such natural bounty as these.
And now a special request, God, in light of the disturbing case of Claire Brosseau, the depressed Canadian entertainer who wants to die because of her depression. Speak to the hearts of all involved, meaning Claire herself, of course, Lord, but also a certain Stephanie Nolen, the healthcare reporter at the New York Times who wrote a story about the case without even mentioning the drug prohibition which is keeping Claire depressed in the first place. Help Stephanie et al. to grasp the once-obvious fact that drug use is actually better than dying. Am I right, God? Teach them that it is absurd to ask the government to help you to die, when that same government is withholding from you the kinds of substances that could make you want to live! Teach them that Claire should be fighting not for an unprecedented right to have the government help her to kill herself, but rather for her time-honored right to take care of her own health as she sees fit. In other words, God, Claire should be fighting to end drug prohibition, not just for herself, but for the rest of the hundreds of millions who are similarly depressed and have been denied medicines that could cheer them up in a trice!
Finally, we pray for Pete Hegseth and all such laughably under-educated chest-thumpers who have done so much to destigmatize idiocy, meanwhile thinking that they can invade countries at will merely because their leaders might be using or selling the divine plant of the Inca, which, if that is true, Lord, then Muslim nations should be able to come stateside and arrest our leaders for our sale and exportation of alcohol and tobacco around the globe.
We pray in the name of replacing violence and arrest with compassion and education.
Selah.
Whew! That's refreshing. Now pardon me while I go back to the front door and scope out the landscape again. I fear that the Talking Heads were right: this is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife. And I bet if I go outside to the parking lot, I'll find that it's not even my large automobile anymore. All bets are off when America's Secretary of Defense becomes a Secretary of War and starts literally preaching to Americans rather than giving them updates from the battlefield.
Ten Tweets
against the hateful war on US
Laughing gas inspired the philosophy of William James. Outlawing N20 is outlawing academic freedom. Laughing gas should be available for the suicidal. Drug prohibition is not a victimless crime.
We've created a faux psychology to support such science: that psychology says that anything that really WORKS is just a "crutch" -- as if there is, or there even should be, a "CURE" for sadness.
I personally hate beets and I could make a health argument against their legality. Beets can kill for those allergic to them. Sure, it's a rare condition, but since when has that stopped a prohibitionist from screaming bloody murder?
I've been told by many that I should have seen "my doctor" before withdrawing from Effexor. But, A) My doctor got me hooked on the junk in the first place, and, B) That doctor completely ignores the OBVIOUS benefits of indigenous meds and focuses only on theoretical downsides.
In the 19th century, author Richard Middleton wrote how poets would get together to use opium "in a series of magnificent quarterly carouses."
Drug warriors have harnessed the perfect storm. Prohibition caters to the interests of law enforcement, psychotherapy, Big Pharma, demagogues, puritans, and materialist scientists, who believe that consciousness is no big "whoop" and that spiritual states are just flukes.
One merely has to look at any issue of Psychology Today to see articles in which the author reckons without the Drug War, in which they pretend that banned substances do not exist and so fail to incorporate any topic-related insights that might otherwise come from user reports.
Even prohibition haters have their own list of drugs that they feel should be outlawed. They're missing the point. We should not drugs "up or down" any more than we should judge penicillin or aspirin in that way.
71% of the depressed have relapses after getting off their meds. Doctors blame this on depression, but increasing evidence suggests that these people are having withdrawal problems.
Billboards reading "Fentanyl kills" are horrible because they encourage the creation of racist legislation that outlaws all godsend uses of opiates. Kids in hospice in India go without morphine because of America's superstitious fear of opiates.
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