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Let Us Pray for Pete Hegseth

and all the other undereducated chest-thumpers in the world who run roughshod over the rights of freedom lovers far and wide

by Brian Ballard Quass, the Drug War Philosopher

March 21, 2026



Last night I saw the head of our newly named Department of War on television, Pete Hegseth, telling me to get down on my knees and pray to Jesus Christ. That's right, the head of my country's military was directing me to make my obeisances to Jesus Christ right there and then -- to Jesus Christ! Well, I did what any freedom-loving American would do in such a case: I ran to my front door to look outside and see if I was still in the United States. The country that I grew up in, after all, was not a theocracy, least of all a theocracy ruled by warmongering evangelicals who scorn all democratic norms. Surely, my condo had been transported overnight via an F-5 tornado to some despotic dystopia on the other side of the globe. I must have somehow slept through the whole thing!

illustration of hands in prayer
Strange, I had flipped the television on to get an update on the phenomenally poorly planned war on Iran, and instead I got a sermon.

Fortunately, two can play at that game, in proof of which, let us now bow our heads in prayer.

Dear God, we come before you today sick unto death with the Drug Warriors' attempts to destroy time-honored freedoms in the name of ending the use of godsend medicines which they are determined to demonize while yet glorifying not simply the drinking of alcohol, but the actual abuse of the same -- in proof of which, Lord, I call your attention to the shelves full of so-called "hydration games" at the local Walmart, including but not limited to Chug o' War, Shot Clock, and You Laugh, You Drink. It would be funny, Lord, were it not for the fact that this childish hypocrisy of ours about psychoactive substances has an ever-growing body count around the world.

Speaking of which, we pray for the families of the hundreds of thousands of Mexicans who have been killed by Drug War violence in the last 20 years alone and of the tens of thousands who have been "disappeared," as they call it, Lord, all so that America can outlaw the divine plant of the Incas. Speak to the hearts of American parents whose fearmongering about their children has helped bring us to this sorry pass. Remind them that they are not the only stakeholders in the drug debate, and that they can only save their children from drugs by throwing the rest of the world under the bus, and especially minorities and foreigners.

Remind them that folks like myself have been shunted off onto so-called 'meds' that are far harder to kick than heroin, all because drug prohibition has given a monopoly on mind and mood medicine to pharmaceutical companies. Remind them, while you're at it, Lord, that it is humiliating to take drug tests and that it is just plain wrong to judge people by what substances they decide to ingest, not to mention the fact that it's just plain anti-American, anti-freedom, and a violation of the natural law upon which America was founded, insofar as John Locke himself, Jefferson's go-to man on natural rights, declared that we all have a natural right to the use of the earth and all that lies therein, which includes the poppy plant, the coca plant, mushrooms, cacti and even synthetic medicines that are inspired by such natural bounty as these.

And now a special request, God, in light of the disturbing case of Claire Brosseau, the depressed Canadian entertainer who wants to die because of her depression. Speak to the hearts of all involved, meaning Claire herself, of course, Lord, but also a certain Stephanie Nolen, the healthcare reporter at the New York Times who wrote a story about the case without even mentioning the drug prohibition which is keeping Claire depressed in the first place. Help Stephanie et al. to grasp the once-obvious fact that drug use is actually better than dying. Am I right, God? Teach them that it is absurd to ask the government to help you to die, when that same government is withholding from you the kinds of substances that could make you want to live! Teach them that Claire should be fighting not for an unprecedented right to have the government help her to kill herself, but rather for her time-honored right to take care of her own health as she sees fit. In other words, God, Claire should be fighting to end drug prohibition, not just for herself, but for the rest of the hundreds of millions who are similarly depressed and have been denied medicines that could cheer them up in a trice!

Finally, we pray for Pete Hegseth and all such laughably under-educated chest-thumpers who have done so much to destigmatize idiocy, meanwhile thinking that they can invade countries at will merely because their leaders might be using or selling the divine plant of the Inca, which, if that is true, Lord, then Muslim nations should be able to come stateside and arrest our leaders for our sale and exportation of alcohol and tobacco around the globe.

We pray in the name of replacing violence and arrest with compassion and education.

Selah.

Whew! That's refreshing. Now pardon me while I go back to the front door and scope out the landscape again. I fear that the Talking Heads were right: this is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife. And I bet if I go outside to the parking lot, I'll find that it's not even my large automobile anymore. All bets are off when America's Secretary of Defense becomes a Secretary of War and starts literally preaching to Americans rather than giving them updates from the battlefield.








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Ten Tweets

against the hateful war on US




You can get a Ph.D. in healthcare, and not learn a thing about the glaringly obvious benefits of drugs, as demonstrated by history, anecdote and common sense.

If we can go overseas to burn poppy plants, then Islamic countries should be free to come to the United States to burn our grape vines.

Wade Davis wrote in Rolling Stone that cocaine was outlawed because 400 people consumed toxic doses worldwide. SO WHAT?! 178,000 people die from alcohol every year in America alone.

Americans love to hate heroin. But there is no rational reason why folks should not use heroin daily in a world in which we consider it their medical duty to use antidepressants daily.

This hysterical reaction to rare negative events actually creates more rare negative events. This is why the DEA publicizes "drug problems," because by making them well known, they make the problems more prevalent and can thereby justify their huge budget.

The Thomas Jefferson Foundation is a drug war collaborator. They helped the DEA confiscate Thomas Jefferson's poppy plants in 1987.

Drug prohibition is the biggest tyranny imaginable. It is the government control of pain relief. It is government telling us how and how much we are allowed to think and feel in this life.

I've always wondered why we don't just let heroin users be -- or better yet, re-legalize drugs and give them choices. Why are they punished for using heroin daily while we praise 1 in 4 women for taking an even more dependence-causing drug every day of their life?

Yeah. That's why it's so pretentious and presumptuous of People magazine to "fight for justice" on behalf of Matthew Perry, as if Perry would have wanted that.

The Drug Warriors say: "Don't tread on me! (That said, please continue to tell me what plants I can use, how much pain relief I can get, and whether my religion is true or not.)"


Click here to see All Tweets against the hateful War on Us






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Book Cover

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Book Cover

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Unless otherwise indicated, no AI is used in the creation of site content. These essays represent the original ideas of their author and not the ideas that the author SHOULD have based on an algorithmic parsing of existing data. For more on this subject, consider the AI-related viewpoints to which the author subscribes as delineated in the New York Times opinion piece entitled "What 370,000 College Essays Tell Us About A.I.’s Effects on Creativity" by Rebecca Winthrop of the Brookings Institution.

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Copyright 2026, Brian Ballard Quass Contact: quass@quass.com

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