Essay date: November 7, 2019

Running with the torture loving DEA

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Welcome back to the DEA Lounge!




I want to thank our public servants here for taking time out to join us. I know you've got a busy schedule, locking up liberals, so any time you can spare--





What did I say?



Hey, listen, I understand. By locking up liberals, you keep the Drug Warrior conservatives in power and thus maintain your crucial jobs of quashing dissent in America and limiting human consciousness.



No, seriously. I suppose the Drug War was bound to happen eventually on planet earth.


GASP

It had to happen at the precise moment in human history when capitalism and modern transportation coincided with a new awareness of the psychoactive power of plants.

MURMURS

PICTURE0020

We could either greet this alignment of forces rationally or not, and guess which choice we made?

LAUGHTER

Suddenly, Chicken Little politicians were screaming: "Oh, me gosh, we have to outlaw plants!"



Wrong.

AUDIO5



Earth to politicians: you should have outlawed the profit motive when it comes to those psychoactive plants, not the plants themselves.

APPLAUSE

I guess they had to scapegoat plants, though, since the alternative was to question the all-powerful god of capitalism.

LAUGHTER

The result? They thereby created such a violent world that we had to invent a whole new movie genre to accommodate all the bullets and bodies: namely, the Drug War movie.


LAUGHTER


I hate to call such politicians morons, but if the dunce cap fits...

DRUM

LAUGHTER

"Gee, what happened? We outlawed plants and a bunch of violence ensued. Who would have thunk it?"

LAUGHTER

Answer: anyone with half a brain.

DRUM
LAUGHTER

Don't you love those Drug War movies? Those movies where the DEA "heroes" laugh at the US Constitution and willfully employ torture and murder to achieve their goal of outlawing Mother Nature? Ah, yes, good old American values: torture and murder.

GASP

Check out Running with the Devil, a DEA propaganda film starring Laurence Fishburne and Nicolas Cage.

GASP

Along with Leslie Bibb as the torture-loving DEA agent.

GASP

You know, if the Drug War is Christian, as many fundamentalists maintain, then I must have missed something in Sunday School.

LAUGHTER

I missed the part where Jesus told his followers to place suspects in bikini briefs, suspend them by a metal chain, and then threaten to drill holes in their abdomen with a power tool, as Leslie Bibb threatens to do to the so-called "Snitch" in Running with the Devil.

GASP

Oops, I forgot to mention: SPOILER ALERT!

DRUM
LAUGHTER

Speaking of spoilers, you ever notice that the Drug War spoils democracy!

APPLAUSE

I just looked up the movie, Running with the Devil, on so-called Common Sense Media.

MURMURS

Common Sense? More like Common Nonsense.

LAUGHTER

They pan the movie for its nudity and four-letter words...

MURMURS

...but they have absolutely NOTHING to say about the movie's glorification of governmental fascism.

LAUGHTER

Common Sense Media is like: Watch out, parents. There are some very naughty words, indeed, in this movie! Land's sakes! Aside from that, though, it's just a good-natured romp extolling the wonders of fascism! So enjoy!

LAUGHTER

My name is Ballard Quass and I'll be here until they outlaw freedom of speech, which won't be long considering that our government has already had the metaphysical chutzpah to outlaw mere plants!

LINKSMOVIES

Next essay: Common Nonsense from Common Sense Media
Previous essay: Open Letter to Addiction Specialist Gabriel Maté

More Essays Here


essays about
THE MENDACIOUS AND HARM-CAUSING DEA

A Goliath that even David is afraid of
Rat Out Your Neighbors
Twelve Reasons why the DEA should be abolished
The Dark Side of the Monticello Foundation
Open Letter to Congressman Ben Cline, asking him to abolish the criminal DEA
Defund the DEA
The DEA: Poisoning Americans since 1973
The DEA's War on Alzheimer's Research
How the DEA determines if a religion is true
Put the DEA on Trial
Running with the DEA -- er, I mean the Devil
Torture 101 at DEA University
DEA Guilty of Crimes Against Humanity
Mycologists as DEA Collaborators
The DEA Scheduling System is Based on Lies
Drug War Bait and Switch



The Schedule I Gift Shop

Help the Drug War philosopher spend more time trashing the idiotic drug war. Purchase products from my Schedule I Gift Shop at Cafepress.com. Want to make money rather than spend it? Send me your anti-drug-war artwork and photos for inclusion on my drug war products and get 50% of all sale proceeds that those products generate. Email quass@quass.com for details.


This is your Brain on Godsend Plant Medicine: Stop the Drug War from demonizing godsend plant medicines. Psychoactive plant medicines are godsends, not devil spawn.

End Drug War Sharia: Re-Legalize Plants: Speak common sense to power: end the war against Mother Nature's medicines.

Monticello Betrayed Thomas Jefferson: By demonizing plant medicine, the Drug War overthrew the Natural Law upon which Jefferson founded America -- and brazenly confiscated the Founding Father's poppy plants in 1987, in a symbolic coup against Jeffersonian freedoms.

End the Christian Science Drug War: The war on plant medicine is the establishment of the Christian Science religion, which tell us it is somehow moral to do without godsend plant medicine.

Drug Testing For Tobacco And Liquor Decal: Slap this sticker on a urinal to remind urinating drug warriors of the hypocrisy of their war on godsend plant medicine.

The Dea Poisoned Americans Bumper Sticker: In the 1980s, DEA Chief John C. Lawn laced marijuana plants with Paraquat, a weed killer that has since been shown to cause Parkinson's Disease.

No Drug War Keychains: The key to ending the Drug War is to spread the word about the fact that it is Anti-American, unscientific and anti-minority (for starters)

Stop Demonizing Plant Medicine Car Bumper Magnet: Today the word

old time radio playing Drug War comedy sketches





You have been reading essays by the Drug War Philosopher, Brian Quass, at abolishthedea.com. Brian has written for Sociodelic and is the author of The Drug War Comic Book, which contains 150 political cartoons illustrating some of the seemingly endless problems with the war on drugs -- many of which only Brian seems to have noticed, by the way, judging by the recycled pieties that pass for analysis these days when it comes to "drugs." That's not surprising, considering the fact that the category of "drugs" is a political category, not a medical or scientific one.

A "drug," as the world defines the term today, is "a substance that has no good uses for anyone, ever, at any time, under any circumstances" -- and, of course, there are no substances of that kind: even cyanide and the deadly botox toxin have positive uses: a war on drugs is therefore unscientific at heart, to the point that it truly qualifies as a superstition, one in which we turn inanimate substances into boogie-men and scapegoats for all our social problems.

The Drug War is, in fact, the philosophical problem par excellence of our time, premised as it is on a raft of faulty assumptions (notwithstanding the fact that most philosophers today pretend as if the drug war does not exist). It is a war against the poor, against minorities, against religion, against science, against the elderly, against the depressed, against those in pain, against children in hospice care, and against philosophy itself. It outlaws substances that have inspired entire religions, Nazi fies the English language and militarizes police forces nationwide. In short, it causes all of the problems that it purports to solve, and then some, meanwhile violating the Natural Law upon which Thomas Jefferson founded America.

If you believe in freedom and democracy, in America and around the world, please stay tuned for more philosophically oriented broadsides against the outrageous war on godsend medicines, AKA the war on drugs.

Site and its contents copyright 2023, by Brian B. Quass, the drug war philosopher at abolishthedea.com. For more information, contact Brian at quass@quass.com.