bird icon for twitter bird icon for twitter


We have nothing to fear but the drug war itself

a brief comedy sketch in protest of America's hateful policy of drug prohibition

by Brian Ballard Quass, the Drug War Philosopher

August 29, 2025



Live from the DEA Lounge, we present Johnny O'Clonapan.

What's up, Philly?

How many people want to end gun violence 1 in the City of Brotherly Love 2 ?

[applause]

Let's see, I think that's unanimous.

And now, how many people realize that it was drug prohibition which brought gun violence 3 to Philadelphia in the first place?

[crickets chirping]

I was afraid of that.

Now then, let's try this again.

How many people want to restore our inner cities?

[applause]

How many want to restore the rule of law in Latin America?

[applause]

How many want to end the mass arrest of minorities?

[applause]

How many want to end drug prohibition which causes all of these problems in the first place?

[cricket chirping]

I was afraid of that too!



Notes:

1: Firearm Violence in the United States Center for Gun Violence Solutions, Johns Hopkins University (up)
2: The Philadelphia Citizen (up)
3: Firearm Violence in the United States Center for Gun Violence Solutions, Johns Hopkins University (up)


Comedy




The drug war is laughable -- or it would be if the drug warriors hadn't deprived us of laughing gas, the substance that William James himself used to study alternate realities.

  • A Drug Warrior in our Midst
  • A Misguided Tour of Monticello
  • American City Homicide Awards 2021
  • Blowing Up Arkansas
  • Campfire Stories about America's Drug War
  • Comedian Adderall Zoloft Riffs on the Drug War
  • COPS PRESENTS the top 10 traffic stops of 2023
  • Dragnet meets the Drug War
  • Drug War Comedy Routine
  • Drug War Copaganda
  • Drug War Jeopardy!
  • Drug War: the Musical!
  • Funny Animated Gifs about America's imperialist and racist Drug War
  • One of these things is not like the other
  • Plants Divine, All Plants Excelling
  • Public Service Announcements for the Post-Drug War Era
  • Rat Out Your Neighbors
  • The DEA: Poisoning Americans since 1973
  • The Drug War Board Game
  • The Joy of Drug Testing
  • The Only Good Hippo...
  • Thought Crimes Blotter
  • Torture 101 at DEA University
  • We have nothing to fear but the drug war itself
  • What's My Line?





  • Ten Tweets

    against the hateful war on US




    Attention People's magazine editorial staff: Matthew Perry was a big boy who made his own decisions. He didn't die because of ketamine or because of evil rotten drug dealers, he died because of America's enforced ignorance about psychoactive drugs.

    The MindMed company (makers of LSD Lite) tell us that euphoria and visions are "adverse effects": that's not science, that's an arid materialist philosophy that does not believe in spiritual transcendence.

    Who would have thought back in 1776 that Americans would eventually have to petition their government for the right to even possess a damn mushroom. The Drug War has destroyed America.

    The 2024 Colorado bill was withdrawn -- but only when pols realized that they had been caught in the act of outlawing free speech. They did not let opponents speak, however, because they knew the speeches would make the pols look like the anti-democratic jerks that they were.

    Like when Laura Sanders tells us in Science News that depression is an intractable problem, she should rather tell us: "Depression is an intractable problem... that is, in a world wherein we refuse to consider the benefits of 'drugs,' let alone to fight for their beneficial use."

    Musk vies with his fellow materialists in his attempt to diss humans as insignificant. But we are not insignificant. The very term "insignificant" is a human creation. Consciousness rules. Indeed, consciousness makes the rules. Without us, there would only be inchoate particles.

    Most people think that drugs like cocaine, MDMA, LSD and amphetamines can only be used recreationally. WRONG ! This represents a very naive understanding of human psychology. We deny common sense in order to cater to the drug war orthodoxy that "drugs have no benefits."

    "Arrest made in Matthew Perry death." Oh, yeah? Did they arrest the drug warriors who prioritized propaganda over education?

    I should have added to that last post: "I in no way want to glorify or condone drug demonization."

    The best step we could take in harm reduction is re-legalizing everything and starting to teach safe use. Spend the DEA's billions on "go" teams that would descend on locations where drugs are being used stupidly -- not to arrest, but to educate.


    Click here to see All Tweets against the hateful War on Us






    Withdrawing from antidepressants in the age of the Drug War
    How Drug Prohibition turns Americans into patients for life


    This site uses no cookies! This site features no ads!



    Thanks for visiting The Drug War Philosopher at abolishthedea.com, featuring essays against America's disgraceful drug war. Updated daily.

    Copyright 2025, Brian Ballard Quass Contact: quass@quass.com


    (up)