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A Drug Warrior in our Midst



by Brian Ballard Quass, the Drug War Philosopher



October 25, 2019



elcome to the DEA Lounge!

Let's hear it for Johnny English and the Band!

[laughter] [applause]

They've got a lot of nerve, starting their set off with "Quinn the Eskimo" like that.

[drum] [laughter]

In the DEA Lounge of all places.

[laughter]

Don't they know that the government does not allow improved thinking and expanded consciousness via plants -- the coca leaves included?


Never mind that indigenous South Americans have used them for ages to achieve mental clarity.


Never mind that Sigmund Freud himself achieved prodigious vocational output and thus self-fulfillment via cocaine.

[applause]

Uh-oh. We seem to have a Drug Warrior in our midst. You've got to realize, madam, that it's absurd to criminalize plants and thereby make a black market and generate all sorts of violence.

[applause]

All I can say is, I hope you're enjoying that Bahama Mama while you're hypocritically trash-talking Mother Nature's plants.

[drum] [laughter]

What about Sigmund Freud and cocaine?

Freud was like, "That psychotherapy mumbo jumbo is all well and good for my patients, but I demand REAL treatment in my own life, thank you very much!"

[laughter]

But it's funny trying to argue against the fascist Drug War on line.

[gasp]

And I call it fascist advisedly, mind you, because {^the Drug War is nothing but the enforcement of Christian Science with respect to mental states.}{

[applause]

My name is Thomas de Qunicey, and I'll be here through Friday, or until the United States outlaws criticism of its disgraceful Drug War, which could happen any day, considering that the government has already had the chutzpah to outlaw the plants and fungi that grow at our very feet.

[laughter] [applause]

Yes, madam, I'm sure you're very proud of yourself for having given up the vast majority of nature's godsend medicines, but I'll thank you not to make Christian Science the state religion with your anti-scientific drug laws.

[laughter] [applause]

For more groundbreaking anti-Drug War essays and comedy, visit AbolishTheDEA.com, preferably before it's outlawed by people like motormouth here.

Yes, of course, madam. Whatever.

Comedy






The drug war is laughable -- or it would be if the drug warriors hadn't deprived us of laughing gas, the substance that William James himself used to study alternate realities. (Gee, thanks, folks, for censoring academia. Don't worry, though, I'm not going to call you prohibitionists 'fascist bastards' on THAT account. Mom just didn't raise me like that.)_

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  • computer screen with words DRUG WAR BLOG


    Next essay: How Drug Warriors Steal American Elections
    Previous essay: Review of When Plants Dream

    More Essays Here




    Some Tweets against the hateful war on drugs

    Getting off some drugs could actually be fun and instructive, by using a variety of other drugs to keep one's mind off the withdrawal process. But America believes that getting off a drug should be a big moral battle.
    When the FDA tells us in effect that MDMA is too dangerous to be used to prevent school shootings and to help bring about world peace, they are making political judgments, not scientific ones.
    When the FDA tells us in effect that MDMA is too dangerous to be used to prevent school shootings and to help bring about world peace, they are making political judgments, not scientific ones.
    The drug war is a slow-motion coup against democracy.
    Drug dealers are not the bad guys -- the bad guys are the racist pols who incentivized unregulated drug-dealing in the first place by outlawing a whole pharmacopoeia's worth of godsend medicines.
    In "The Book of the Damned," Charles Fort writes about the data that science has damned, by which he means "excluded." The fact that drugs can inspire and elate is one such fact, although when Fort wrote his anti-materialist broadside, drug prohibition was in its infancy.
    A law proposed in Colorado in February 2024 would have criminalized positive talk about drugs online. What? The world is on the brink of nuclear war because of hate-driven politics, and I can be arrested for singing the praises of empathogens?
    I hope that scientists will eventually find the prohibition gene so that we can eradicate this superstitious way of thinking from humankind. "Ug! Drugs bad! Drugs not good for anyone, anywhere, at any dose, for any reason, ever! Ug!"
    Psychiatrists keep flipping the script. When it became clear that SSRIs caused dependence, instead of apologizing, they told us we need to keep taking our meds. Now they even claim that criticizing SSRIs is wrong. This is anti-intellectual madness.
    Michael Pollan is the Leona Helmsley of the Drug War. He uses outlawed drugs freely while failing to support the re-legalization of Mother Nature. Drug laws are apparently for the little people.
    More Tweets



    The latest hits from Drug War Records, featuring Freddie and the Fearmongers!


    1. Requiem for the Fourth Amendment



    2. There's No Place Like Home (until the DEA gets through with it)



    3. O Say Can You See (what the Drug War's done to you and me)






    front cover of Drug War Comic Book

    Buy the Drug War Comic Book by the Drug War Philosopher Brian Quass, featuring 150 hilarious op-ed pics about America's disgraceful war on Americans



    You have been reading an article entitled, A Drug Warrior in our Midst published on October 25, 2019 on AbolishTheDEA.com. For more information about America's disgraceful drug war, which is anti-patient, anti-minority, anti-scientific, anti-mother nature, imperialistic, the establishment of the Christian Science religion, a violation of the natural law upon which America was founded, and a childish and counterproductive way of looking at the world, one which causes all of the problems that it purports to solve, and then some, visit the drug war philosopher, at abolishTheDEA.com. (philosopher's bio; go to top of this page)