Essay date: October 25, 2019

A Drug Warrior in our Midst




elcome to the DEA Lounge!

Let's hear it for Johnny English and the Band!

LAUGHTER APPLAUSE

They've got a lot of nerve, starting their set off with "Quinn the Eskimo" like that.

DRUM LAUGHTER

In the DEA Lounge of all places.

LAUGHTER

Don't they know that the government does not allow improved thinking and expanded consciousness via plants -- the coca leaves included?


Never mind that indigenous South Americans have used them for ages to achieve mental clarity.


Never mind that Sigmund Freud himself achieved prodigious vocational output and thus self-fulfillment via cocaine.

APPLAUSE

Uh-oh. We seem to have a drug warrior in our midst. You've got to realize, madam, that it's absurd to criminalize plants and thereby make a black market and generate all sorts of violence.

APPLAUSE

All I can say is, I hope you're enjoying that Bahama Mama while you're hypocritically trash-talking Mother Nature's plants.

DRUM LAUGHTER

What about Sigmund Freud and cocaine?

Freud was like, "That psychotherapy mumbo jumbo is all well and good for my patients, but I demand REAL treatment in my own life, thank you very much!"

LAUGHTER

But it's funny trying to argue against the fascist drug war on line.

GASP

And I call it fascist advisedly, mind you, because {^the drug war is nothing but the enforcement of Christian Science with respect to mental states.}{

APPLAUSE

My name it Thomas de Qunicey, and I'll be here through Friday, or until the United States outlaws criticism of its disgraceful drug war, which could happen any day, considering that the government has already had the chutzpah to outlaw the plants and fungi that grow at our very feet.

LAUGHTER APPLAUSE

Yes, madam, I'm sure you're very proud of yourself for having given up the vast majority of nature's godsend medicines, but I'll thank you not to make Christian Science the state religion with your anti-scientific drug laws.

LAUGHTER APPLAUSE

For more groundbreaking anti-drug war essays and comedy, visit AbolishTheDEA.com, preferably before it's outlawed by people like motormouth here.

Yes, of course, madam. Whatever.

Next essay: How Drug Warriors Steal American Elections
Previous essay: Review of When Plants Dream

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The Schedule I Gift Shop

Help the Drug War philosopher spend more time trashing the idiotic drug war. Purchase products from my Schedule I Gift Shop at Cafepress.com. Want to make money rather than spend it? Send me your anti-drug-war artwork and photos for inclusion on my drug war products and get 50% of all sale proceeds that those products generate. Email quass@quass.com for details.


This is your Brain on Godsend Plant Medicine: Stop the Drug War from demonizing godsend plant medicines. Psychoactive plant medicines are godsends, not devil spawn.

End Drug War Sharia: Re-Legalize Plants: Speak common sense to power: end the war against Mother Nature's medicines.

Monticello Betrayed Thomas Jefferson: By demonizing plant medicine, the Drug War overthrew the Natural Law upon which Jefferson founded America -- and brazenly confiscated the Founding Father's poppy plants in 1987, in a symbolic coup against Jeffersonian freedoms.

End the Christian Science Drug War: The war on plant medicine is the establishment of the Christian Science religion, which tell us it is somehow moral to do without godsend plant medicine.

Drug Testing For Tobacco And Liquor Decal: Slap this sticker on a urinal to remind urinating drug warriors of the hypocrisy of their war on godsend plant medicine.

The Dea Poisoned Americans Bumper Sticker: In the 1980s, DEA Chief John C. Lawn laced marijuana plants with Paraquat, a weed killer that has since been shown to cause Parkinson's Disease.

No Drug War Keychains: The key to ending the Drug War is to spread the word about the fact that it is Anti-American, unscientific and anti-minority (for starters)

Stop Demonizing Plant Medicine Car Bumper Magnet: Today the word

old time radio playing Drug War comedy sketches





You have been reading essays by the Drug War Philosopher, Brian Quass, at abolishthedea.com. Brian has written for Sociodelic and is the author of The Drug War Comic Book, which contains 150 political cartoons illustrating some of the seemingly endless problems with the war on drugs -- many of which only Brian seems to have noticed, by the way, judging by the recycled pieties that pass for analysis these days when it comes to "drugs." That's not surprising, considering the fact that the category of "drugs" is a political category, not a medical or scientific one.

A "drug," as the world defines the term today, is "a substance that has no good uses for anyone, ever, at any time, under any circumstances" -- and, of course, there are no substances of that kind: even cyanide and the deadly botox toxin have positive uses: a war on drugs is therefore unscientific at heart, to the point that it truly qualifies as a superstition, one in which we turn inanimate substances into boogie-men and scapegoats for all our social problems.

The Drug War is, in fact, the philosophical problem par excellence of our time, premised as it is on a raft of faulty assumptions (notwithstanding the fact that most philosophers today pretend as if the drug war does not exist). It is a war against the poor, against minorities, against religion, against science, against the elderly, against the depressed, against those in pain, against children in hospice care, and against philosophy itself. It outlaws substances that have inspired entire religions, Nazi fies the English language and militarizes police forces nationwide. In short, it causes all of the problems that it purports to solve, and then some, meanwhile violating the Natural Law upon which Thomas Jefferson founded America.

If you believe in freedom and democracy, in America and around the world, please stay tuned for more philosophically oriented broadsides against the outrageous war on godsend medicines, AKA the war on drugs.

Site and its contents copyright 2023, by Brian B. Quass, the drug war philosopher at abolishthedea.com. For more information, contact Brian at quass@quass.com.