Welcome to 'What's My Line: Drug War Edition.' Here is your host, Blaze Thunderstone.
Today's mystery guest is Andy from Staten Island, New York. Andy, how are you doing today?
Great, Blaze, thanks.
Let's ask some questions to see if our contestants can figure out what you do for a living. Fire when ready, Mary.
Does your job have anything to do with breaking down doors and throwing grandmothers to the floor?
You might say that, yes.
Very interesting. Steve?
If I begged for mercy while you were ransacking my house, would you be likely to cut me some slack?
Ha, you wish.
I think we'll take that as a no. Harmony, your question, please.
If you broke down my door and I did not immediately get down on the floor, would you shoot me?
Of course. You would have it coming to you, in that case.
Time is up, I am afraid. Mary, what do you think that Andy here does for a living?
It's hard to say, however, I think he might be a member of the Nazi Gestapo.
Oh, close one, Mary, but that is not quite the correct answer. Steve?
Is Andy one of those mindless thugs who goes around enforcing protection rackets for the Mafia?
Oh! Once again, that's very close, but it is not the precise answer that we are looking for. Harmony, what do you think is Andy's job?
Well, if he is not in the Gestapo and he is not part of the Mob... is he one of those DEA agents who destroys houses on a whim and answers to nobody, thereby constituting an abomination in a supposedly free country?
Exactly, Harmony, well done. Yes, Andy is indeed one of those D E A agents who destroys houses on a whim and answers to nobody, thereby constituting an abomination in a supposedly free country!
You have been listening to What's My Line, Drug War edition, with your host, Blaze Thunderstone.
Amphetamines are "meds" when they help kids think more clearly but they are "drugs" when they help adults think more clearly. That shows you just how bewildered Americans are when it comes to drugs.
There's a run of addiction movies out there, like "Craving!" wherein they actually personify addiction as a screaming skeleton. Funny, drug warriors never call for a Manhattan Project to end addiction. Addiction is their golden goose.
The International Observer says the "core issues" causing Mexican drug violence are: "corruption, inequality, and the demand for narcotics in the U.S." Wrong, wrong, wrong. The core issue is DRUG PROHIBITION.
The front page of every mycology club page should feature a protest of drug laws that make the study of mycology illegal in the case of certain shrooms. But no one protests. Their silence makes them drug war collaborators because it serves to normalize prohibition.
"Arrest made in Matthew Perry death." Oh, yeah? Did they arrest the drug warriors who prioritized propaganda over education?
In the 2015 movie "No Escape," the only place that was safe from anti-American hysteria was an opium den. How ironic that the U.S. forced Iran to outlaw opium.
America is an "arrestocracy" thanks to the war on drugs.
Kids should be taught beginning in grade school that drug prohibition is wrong.
Immanuel Kant wrote that scientists are scornful about metaphysics yet they rely on it themselves without realizing it. This is a case in point, for the idea that euphoria and visions are unhelpful in life is a metaphysical viewpoint, not a scientific one.
If NIDA covered all drugs (not just politically ostracized drugs), they'd produce articles like this: "Aspirin continues to kill hundreds." "Penicillin misuse approaching crisis levels." "More bad news about Tylenol and liver damage." "Study revives cancer fears from caffeine."
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