he horrible and omnipresent effects of the Drug War cry out to be pilloried onstage. And I mean that literally, as the budding playwright in me can already envision a hospice full of crying children singing the heartbreaking ballad "Make It Stop!" as their doctors, fearful of losing their jobs, refuse to give them sufficient morphine to ease their pain.
"Make It Stop" by the Hospice Kids
Then, of course, there would be the rousing patriotic number in which prospective employees of Home Depot proudly proclaim the fact that "We Pee to Get Employed!" (Now, work with me here. You see, you'd hear the urine streams jetting rhythmically off-stage as the job candidates emerge obediently from their respective restrooms in 2/4 time, holding that glistening beaker full of liquid evidence of their moral purity -- or lack thereof).
"We Pee to Get Employed" by the Drug War Generation
Another must-have ditty in such a show would be "We're Coming In!", featuring a phalanx of DEA agents in full battle regalia rhythmically kicking down American doors while half-singing and half-chanting the aggressive bass lines "We're Coming In!", as the impotent soprano cries of grandmothers and children alternately chide them and cry for mercy, not to mention for common sense and at least a modicum of simple humanity.
"We're Coming In" by Narco and the Doorkickers
In other words, I hereby call for the creation of "DRUG WAR: THE MUSICAL!"
Unfortunately, I have neither enough time nor enough Coca Wine available to create such a masterpiece.
But maybe you can help with the play? All I ask is a share of the residuals.
Of course, historically speaking, these Quixotic appeals of mine usually go unanswered...
but that won't stop me from coming up with more musical numbers wherewith to stick it to the Drug Warriors and put them on the defensive at long last. So watch this space!
By the time David Mamet contacts me, he'll just have to tie the whole thing up in a pretty knot and throw it on stage! And then, hey presto, as the British say!
I'm thinking the DEA agents could be goose-stepping and busting handheld doors as they're marching down Main Street on Drug War Day!
NOTE: Scroll down to watch the YouTube video below for a sing-along version of "We Pee to Get Employed!" aka "We're the Drug War Generation."1
Watch this space for more admittedly exciting and no-doubt hilarious ideas for the eventually upcoming stage hit: "DRUG WAR: THE MUSICAL!"
Comedy
The drug war is laughable -- or it would be if the drug warriors hadn't deprived us of laughing gas, the substance that William James himself used to study alternate realities. (Gee, thanks, folks, for censoring academia. Don't worry, though, I'm not going to call you prohibitionists 'fascist bastards' on THAT account. Mom just didn't raise me like that.)_
1 The video entitled "We Pee to Get Employed" is the a/v equivalent of "out of print." But it's actually on a YouTube website somewhere. The fact is, it's so unvisited that even I myself have lost track of it. But if you're committed enough to reading thus far in a mere footnote on this topic, I'm sure you can dish up that content without a silver platter from ME. (up)
If we encourage folks to use antidepressants daily, there is nothing wrong with them using heroin daily. A founder of Johns Hopkins used morphine daily and he not only survived, but he thrived.
Someone should stand outside Jefferson's estate and hand out leaflets describing the DEA's 1987 raid on Monticello to confiscate poppy plants. That raid was against everything Jefferson stood for. The TJ Foundation DISHONORED JEFFERSON and their visitors should know that!
In the Atomic Age Declassified, they tell us that we needed hundreds of thermonuclear tests so that scientists could understand the effects. That's science gone mad. Just like today's scientists who need more tests before they can say that laughing gas will help the depressed.
Science today is all about ignoring the obvious.
And THAT's why scientists are drug war collaborators, because they're not about to sign off on the use of substances until they've studied them "up the wazoo."
Using grants from an agency whose very name indicates their anti-drug bias: namely, the National Institute on Drug Abuse.
The DEA rating system is not wrong just because it ranks drugs incorrectly. It's wrong because it ranks drugs at all. All drugs have positive uses. It's absurd to prohibit using them because one demographic might misuse them.
"In consciousness dwells the wondrous, with it man attains the realm beyond the material, and the peyote tells us where to find it." --Antonin Arnaud
Trump is the prototypical drug warrior. He knows that he can destroy American freedoms by fearmongering. He has seen it work with the Drug War, which got rid of the 4th Amendment, religious freedom and is now going after free speech.
Folks point to the seemingly endless drugs that can be synthesized today and say it's a reason for prohibition. To the contrary, it's the reason why prohibition is madness. It results in an endless game of militaristic whack-a-mole at the expense of democratic freedoms.
Think you can handle a horse? So did Christopher Reeves. The fact is, NOBODY can handle a horse. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.
I looked up the company: it's all about the damn stock market and money. The FDA outlaws LSD until we remove all the euphoria and the visions. That's ideology, not science. Just relegalize drugs and stop telling me how much ecstasy and insight I can have in my life!!
The Partnership for a Drug Free America should be put on trial for having blatantly lied to Americans in the 1980s about drugs, using our taxpayer money to do it!
Buy the Drug War Comic Book by the Drug War Philosopher Brian Quass, featuring 150 hilarious op-ed pics about America's disgraceful war on Americans
You have been reading an article entitled, Drug War: the Musical! published on June 15, 2023 on AbolishTheDEA.com. For more information about America's disgraceful drug war, which is anti-patient, anti-minority, anti-scientific, anti-mother nature, imperialistic, the establishment of the Christian Science religion, a violation of the natural law upon which America was founded, and a childish and counterproductive way of looking at the world, one which causes all of the problems that it purports to solve, and then some, visit the drug war philosopher, at abolishTheDEA.com. (philosopher's bio; go to top of this page)