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A Dope Comedy Routine About Drugs



by Ballard Quass, the Drug War Philosopher





November 5, 2023

Click the audio "play" button above for a short fun comedy routine about lousy evil rotten horrible bad junkified DOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Comedy






The drug war is laughable -- or it would be if the drug warriors hadn't deprived us of laughing gas, the substance that William James himself used to study alternate realities. (Gee, thanks, folks, for censoring academia. Don't worry, though, I'm not going to call you prohibitionists 'fascist bastards' on THAT account. Mom just didn't raise me like that.)_

  • A Dope Comedy Routine About Drugs
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  • American City Homicide Awards 2021
  • Blowing Up Arkansas
  • Campfire Stories about America's Drug War
  • Comedian Adderall Zoloft Riffs on the Drug War
  • COPS PRESENTS the top 10 traffic stops of 2023
  • Dragnet meets the Drug War
  • Drug War Comedy Routine
  • Drug War Copaganda
  • Drug War Jeopardy!
  • Drug War: the Musical!
  • Funny Animated Gifs about America's imperialist and racist Drug War
  • Introduction to the Drug War Philosopher Website at AbolishTheDEA.com
  • One of these things is not like the other
  • Plants Divine, All Plants Excelling
  • Public Service Announcements for the Post-Drug War Era
  • Rat Out Your Neighbors
  • The DEA: Poisoning Americans since 1973
  • The Drug War Board Game
  • The Joy of Drug Testing
  • Thought Crimes Blotter




  • Next essay: Weed Bashing at WTOP.COM
    Previous essay: The War on Drugs and the Psychiatric Pill Mill
    More Essays Here


    The latest hits from Drug War Records, featuring Freddie and the Fearmongers!


    1. Requiem for the Fourth Amendment



    2. There's No Place Like Home (until the DEA gets through with it)



    3. O Say Can You See (what the Drug War's done to you and me)






    computer screen with words DRUG WAR BLOG







    Some Tweets against the hateful war on drugs

    When people tell us there's nothing to be gained from using mind-improving drugs, they are embarrassing themselves. Users benefit from such drugs precisely to the extent that they are educated and open-minded. Loudmouth abstainers are telling us that they lack these traits.
    In the Atomic Age Declassified, they tell us that we needed hundreds of thermonuclear tests so that scientists could understand the effects. That's science gone mad. Just like today's scientists who need more tests before they can say that laughing gas will help the depressed. Science today is all about ignoring the obvious. And THAT's why scientists are drug war collaborators, because they're not about to sign off on the use of substances until they've studied them "up the wazoo." Using grants from an agency whose very name indicates their anti-drug bias: namely, the National Institute on Drug Abuse.
    In "The Book of the Damned," Charles Fort writes about the data that science has damned, by which he means "excluded." The fact that drugs can inspire and elate is one such fact, although when Fort wrote his anti-materialist broadside, drug prohibition was in its infancy.
    Scientists are responsible for endless incarcerations in America. Why? Because they fail to denounce the DEA lie that psychoactive substances have no positive medical uses. This is so obviously wrong that only an academic in an Ivory Tower could disbelieve it.
    Most substance withdrawal would be EASY if drugs were re-legalized and we could use any substance we wanted to mitigate negative psychological effects.
    Addiction was not a big thing until the drug war. It's now the boogie-man with which drug warriors scare us into giving up our freedoms. But getting obsessed on one single drug is natural in the age of choice-limiting prohibition.
    Drug warriors are too selfish and short-sighted to fight real problems, so they blame everything on drugs.
    The drug war bans human progress by deciding that hundreds of drugs are trash without even trying to find positive uses for them. Yet scientists continue to research and write as if prohibition does not exist, that's how cowed they are by drug laws.
    Let's pass a constitutional amendment to remove Kansas from the Union, and any other state where the racist politicians leverage the drug war to crack down on minorities.
    I'd like to become a guinea pig for researchers to test the ability of psychoactive drugs to make aging as psychologically healthy as possible. If such drugs cannot completely ward off decrepitude, they can surely make it more palatable. The catch? Researchers have to be free.
    More Tweets






    front cover of Drug War Comic Book

    Buy the Drug War Comic Book by the Drug War Philosopher Brian Quass, featuring 150 hilarious op-ed pics about America's disgraceful war on Americans



    You have been reading an article entitled, A Dope Comedy Routine About Drugs published on November 5, 2023 on AbolishTheDEA.com. For more information about America's disgraceful drug war, which is anti-patient, anti-minority, anti-scientific, anti-mother nature, imperialistic, the establishment of the Christian Science religion, a violation of the natural law upon which America was founded, and a childish and counterproductive way of looking at the world, one which causes all of the problems that it purports to solve, and then some, visit the drug war philosopher, at abolishTheDEA.com. (philosopher's bio; go to top of this page)