Enjoy this satirical sendup of America's laughable attitude toward drugs. (Click the audio link above!)
MOTHER: Where are you off to so fast, sweetie?
SON: There's a Dare rally at the Capitol. I'm going down there to just say no to drugs.
MOTHER: Did you remember to take your meds?
SON: Yes, Mom. I popped the whole batch of them on my way through the kitchen.
MOTHER: Careful, dear. You're going to spill that Red Bull you're holding.
SON: Oh, I almost forgot. I was hoping to pick up some bush beer for Dad's upcoming party on my way back. Can you spot me a 20?
Americans claim to hate drugs, and yet 1 in 4 American women are dependent on Big Pharma drugs for life, and we consider them to be good patients!
MOTHER: Only if you'll pick up a box of Virginia Slims for me.
SON: In that case, you better give me your credit card. I don't think it's safe for me to carry all that money around at night.
MOTHER: Here you are, you dope.
SON: Dope? Dope? I just say no to dope, remember?
MOTHER: Touché. Oh, and congratulations, Joey.
SON: For what, Mom?
MOTHER: I heard you passed your urine test to work at the local ABC store.
SON: What can I say? Jesus himself could not have had more impeccable urine than yours truly.
MOTHER: I'm proud of you, Joey.
SON: Oh, stop it, Mom.
MOTHER: Now, have a good time at the Dare rally.
SON: I just hope I don't run into Derek.
MOTHER: Why don't you want to see Derek? I thought he was your best drug-free friend.
SON: He is, but...
MOTHER: What?
SON: He and I had a falling out about American drug policy.
MOTHER: Really? What happened?
SON: Well, he agrees with Los Angeles Police Chief Darryl Gates that drug users should be taken out and shot.
MOTHER: Sounds like a reasonable point of view to me.
SON: Whereas I think William Bennett had the right idea when he said that drug users should be beheaded instead.
MOTHER: Well now, I think that's a topic upon which reasonable people can disagree.
SON: I'm off.
MOTHER: Oh, and we're all out of coffee. And Tylenol now that I think of it.
SON: Mom.
MOTHER: Oh, and if the pharmacy is still open, your sister needs her pills for depression, anxiety, and ADHD.
SON: I tell you what, Mom. Why don't I just bring back the entire store?
MOTHER: Don't be such a dope.
SON: Dope? Dope.
MOTHER: I know, I know. You don't do dope.
Ten Tweets
against the hateful war on US
I knew all along that Measure 110 in Oregon was going to be blamed for the problems that the drug war causes. Drug warriors never take responsibility, despite all the blood that they have on their hands.
It is actually illegal to be a Ben Franklin in 21st century America. To put this another way: we outlaw far more than drugs when we outlaw mind and mood medicine.
That's why we damage the brains of the depressed with shock therapy rather than let them use coca or opium. That's why many regions allow folks to kill themselves but not to take drugs that would make them want to live. The Drug War is a perversion of social priorities.
Until we legalize ALL psychoactive drugs, there will be no such thing as an addiction expert. In the meantime, it's insulting to be told by neuroscience that I'm an addictive type. It's pathologizing my just indignation at psychiatry's niggardly pharmacopoeia.
Politicians protect a drug that kills 178,000 a year via a constitutional amendment, and then they outlaw all less lethal alternatives. To enforce the ban, they abrogate the 4th amendment and encourage drug testing to ensure that drug war heretics starve.
Wade Davis writes that cocaine was outlawed because 400 people consumed toxic doses worldwide. What about the 49,000 that commit suicide every year because we have outlawed drugs that could cheer them up!!!
The International Observer says the "core issues" causing Mexican drug violence are: "corruption, inequality, and the demand for narcotics in the U.S." Wrong, wrong, wrong. The core issue is DRUG PROHIBITION.
Drug warriors are too selfish and short-sighted to fight real problems, so they blame everything on drugs.
This just in on the drug scene: A new New York Times report shows that America has been flooding the world with antidepressants, alcohol and cigarettes!
Drug warriors do not want to end "addiction": it's their golden goose. They use the threat of addiction to scare us into giving up our democratic freedoms, like that once supplied by the 4th amendment.
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